It is customary for the groom's family to question the bride’s abilities before approving a marriage, but it is quite uncommon to hear that the groom must prove his value before he can marry the bride. Yes, you heard that right!
In a tradition locally known as "Chamani Kamani," practiced in Tripura marriages, the groom tries to convince the bride's family to accept the marriage by highlighting his abilities and showcasing that he is worthy of marrying their daughter. This ritual is a unique practice that reflects the social structures and values of Tripura. In addition to this, several distinct wedding rituals represent the cultural diversity in northeastern states like Tripura.
Tripura, one of the seven sister north-eastern states, is the third smallest state of India. With its small geographical area, it is home to diverse cultures and tribes. Chamari Kamani is one of the rituals practiced in Tripura marriages. It is a service-based ritual wherein the groom provides services to his prospective in-laws. The groom is referred to as ‘Chamari’ and promises to work for a specific period in his future in-laws' house. For this period, which may range up to two years, the groom shifts to the bride's house and serves them, considering it to be bride service, where the groom provides his labour instead of monetary price.
The Tripura wedding starts with the marriage proposal that is carried out by a mediating person known as ‘Raibai’ who asks for consent between the two families, and once both are convinced, the groom begins with his period of service. During this period, the groom engages in various kinds of household chores such as fetching firewood, agricultural tasks, engaging with the bride’s family, and getting accustomed to their way of living.
The groom is provided with the necessary clothing and other things to contribute to the bride's family welfare. After the service period, a ceremony known as ‘Theka Subaio’ is performed, in which the groom worships some articles placed on a banana leaf that marks the beginning of marital life. The marriage is then made official. A grand feast is organised where dried fish is served as an essential dish. Another similar ritual is ‘Chamari Amar’ where post marriage the groom permanently shifts to his in-law’s house where he is also granted with the ownership of some agricultural fields by his father-in-law.
There are various other unique rituals attached to Tripura weddings. One such ritual is called ‘Nokkaisa Kaimung’ where both the families exchange their children in matrimony to avoid dowry. For example, a son from one family marries the daughter from another, and vice versa. Another such unique tradition is marriage by purchase, locally known as ‘Fuisai Tubuo,’ in which the groom provides a specific amount to the bride’s family. Tripura’s society also supports widows, widowers, and divorcees to marry who they want. While a widower may marry a maiden, a widow can only marry a divorced man or a widower.
Beyond these unique wedding traditions, the traditional attire of Tripura weddings symbolizes their community’s identity. The bride dresses up in a ‘Rignai’ paired with a ‘Risa,’ which is like a wrap-around dress, along with a piece of cloth wrapped around the bust. These clothes hold cultural and ceremonial significance in the lives of women in Tripura.
In Indian weddings, a woman is expected to adjust and get accustomed to how the groom's family lives, but ‘Chamari Kamani’ is a wedding ritual in Tripura that helps the groom understand and respect the differences in both the families. It helps him create familial bonds with the members of the bride’s family. All these rituals represent a social structure that is not gender biased, unlike most communities in India. The bride price, along with the service period of the groom, suggests that the woman is placed at a higher level and has more worth in this phase of marriage.
Comments