The Pakadwa tradition is a lesser-known tradition followed in some regions of Bihar and Haryana, which is usually marked by the unusual feature of a "forceful" wedding. Whereas the majority of wedding ceremonies in India are based on mutual consent, love, and union of two families, the Pakadwa tradition has a different, more unconventional pattern, where the groom is symbolically "forcefully" married to a bride.
What is the Pakadwa Tradition?
In Pakadwa tradition, the wedding is begun in a non-traditional way, in which the groom is generally not aware of the marriage and is "forcefully" married to the bride by the bride's kin. This tradition is prevalent in some pockets of Bihar and Haryana only and is more typical of rural or less urbanized regions, where customs have a greater influence. The bride's family and the groom's family can come to an agreement on the marriage in advance, but the groom is made to think that he is not yet committed to the union or has not been fully "caught" in the ceremony. The practice is a form of "arranged" or "coercive" ritual, with some degree of force or coercion.
It typically entails the following features: The Groom's Lack of Awareness: Usually, the groom is unaware that the bride's family has plans to marry him off to their daughter. In many instances, he may be asked to the bride's house in the first place for what he thinks is a mere visit or offhand engagement ceremony. He is then "captured" on arrival and ushered into a wedding, with very little leeway for protest. The Bride's Family Dominates: The bride's family can dominate the process of arranging and even forcibly arranging for the marriage, with the groom's family consenting to it subsequently. This ritual often includes hastily done rituals like a fast-track Kanyadaan (giving away of the bride) or Jaimala (garland exchange) without normal planning and approval that goes into a traditional wedding.
The aggressive aspect of Pakadwa is also symbolic in nature rather than physical. It is an age-old idea of community or kin control over the union of a man and woman, where the bridegroom is "captured" by the bride's clan and the bride's consent is implied or taken for granted. In such societies where marriages are arranged, the tradition of family control of marriage decisions is highly prevalent. The Pakadwa tradition fits into this grand narrative, and families, the bride's included, take matters into their hands to make the marriage occur, even against the will of the groom.
The "force" act in Pakadwa, in certain understandings, serves as a symbol of the assertiveness and strength of the bride's family as they demonstrate an ability to negotiate a marriage arrangement for their daughter. It could also be understood as an imitation of an early precedent in which the bride is "won" or "taken" into matrimony, although this tradition is much rarer now and becoming rarer still as cultures change regarding views on consent.
Today, the Pakadwa tradition is controversial because of its coercive nature and because of the possibility of harm done to the persons involved. The consent of persons involved is fundamental in modern-day marriage traditions, and the thought of a groom being forced into or "not aware" wedding is becoming an increasingly problematic thing. But in rural communities where such practices are still prevalent, it is usually seen as a symbolic or ceremonial tradition and not necessarily a forced union. Most of these practices have been dropped or substituted with more modern marriage ceremonies that emphasize mutual consent and love between the bride and groom over time.
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